ppl fuck up their own lives? or is it the confusing commercials of our society.

before i thought the rules only applied to me to feel a prisioner to have a good reason to get drunk. that i was one of the few with the knowledge to do it because i knew this world is shit. and not just a slipknot, marylin manson song lyric. i can come up with atleast 12 diffrent reasons our "society" if fucked.but i realize y ppl do it to excape everything to be away from this shithole much like my reason, althou they do not share the same ideas consciencely they share my conscience to their subconscience.

yesterday me and my coworker were painting a house, and we were very high. he kept talking to me about his life and how his "babies momma" left him. how depressed he was and such. we finally got done at 9:30. leaving the neighborhood he tells me he needs to take care of some business down in the city so we go down the city. own the way home i drive back. now hes been really weird like having me ash in the ash tray cause he needs the ashes. on the highway he takes a can and starts making a pipe out of it, then puts the ashes on the can then whatever was in his baggie smokes it. now i didnt enquire what it was he got, i didnt care but it smelt like old cheese. then he gets all paranoid about throwing the can out the window. does it agian. 20 minutes later he asks " are u cool?" but the way he was talking was like he was numb or something, like he could barely talk. 

this morning i was mad cause i was sober and realized that dude really fucked up. not only having the shit in the car but also puting my job in jeapordy, then we were supposed to work today but that fell throu cause hes not up and can not be reached.

but who am i to judge this guy. i know this world is shit in conscience like i said earlier, is it that fact that ppl dont understand thats y they use to deal with problems not nessicarly drugs but also alchocol, lifting weights or whatever activity to keep them safe from realitity.

but y is this that ppl fear realitiy ( althou reality is a flawed concompt) is that there is no reality. but do ppl really fuck their own lives or is it all the pressure from our society to obtain the american dream and every step we fail for no one really wants the american dream and if u do i feel sorry for u.   

so me and my gf talked it out and i got wasted on friday and high i was fucking gone i couldnt even see straight, and looking at the stars tripped me out. but yeah ended uip slapping my gf which im not proud of but now me and her are even as we see it.

shit happens

holla at ur boy and say i hate wiggers( espically icp)

wtf

so my gf cheated on me while she was drunk says she doesnt remeber anything just that the guys brother told her in the morning and she was sore.

i cant even begin to explain how pissed i am.

so i had to stay here in order to get my car but then two days ago my mom took away my car. so the whole fucking idea of staying here was fucking pointless.

anywaz me and my aunt r cool now so this house is barable my cousin got his own place so the house is lonely. i hate it here. i decided there is nothing stopping me from moving back, the sooner i leave this reched place the better, and my fucking girlfriend i have no fuckign idea. all i know is that it needs to start and start now. so i can have my war.